I cheated, and I'm trying so hard to fix what I did, but he is abusing me?? Is he wrong, or do I deserve this?

You don't deserve that. If he's willingly to stay with you then he's forgiven you enough to still be around you. What he's so mad about is the fact that he loves you so much that he refuses to leave you, and therefore chooses to act like a barbarian because I don't think he even knows if its appropriate for you guys to stay together. But he is taking it out of control. If he can't handle the idea of it, then you two need to end it. Otherwise, you need to move past it. This is not safe for you.